Tales of a Corporate Stalker

Posted by Jonathan Nori on October 13, 2009
Company News / 1 Comment

I really probably shouldn’t blog this, but it’s too funny not to share.

There is a woman–let’s call her Mabel–who has been calling Destiny Image over the past couple of months.

She started out calling the sales line, but has graduated to the general office number and punches in random extensions.

“Mabel” seems like a nice woman. She has a strong Boston accent. And she is very inquisitive.

In fact, she asks so many questions that today one of the employees dubbed her “Our Very Own Corporate Stalker.”

Every time Mabel calls she seems to need different information. Today, she was asking for the official job title for one of our Acquisitions Agents (it’s “Acquisitions Agent”) for “correspondence.” Previously, she has asked to speak with the heads of certain departments, she has asked who the managers of certain sales representatives are, and has asked probing questions about our authors and attempted to get personal contact information for them (which, really, is not that unusual).

I can only imagine that she is trying to build some kind of organizational chart of the company.

When asked her name, or queried for contact information, she politely declines to answer or ignores the question completely and continues to ask her questions. A staff member once began to pray for her over the phone, and Mabel began screaming “moron” into the phone.

One of these times, I’m hoping that she gets through to me. I have a whole list of fake names and positions (such as Dr. Green in Trauma Counseling, Westley in Wardrobe, and Asuka in Angelic Warfare) that I would like to add to her list of Destiny Image employees. I’ve also got some choice jokes involving caller ID and reverse name lookups that I’d like to share with her.

It’s rather entertaining, really. I think though that Mabel may need a hobby. Or a pet. Maybe I’ll send her a kitten after the next time she calls. Everyone likes teh kittehs.

Tags: ,


Posted by Jonathan Nori on February 03, 2009
Uncategorized / No Comments

“How can you tell when a politician is lying? If they’re speaking.”

The word ‘politics’ is derived from the word ‘poly’, meaning ‘many’, and the word ‘ticks’, meaning ‘blood sucking parasites’. -Larry Hardiman

‘Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realise that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.’  -Ronald Reagan

Don’t steal. The government hates competition.

If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see it with representation.The Farmer’s Almanac

A lot has been said about politics; some of it complimentary, but most of it accurate. -Eric Idle

Suppose your were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress… But I repeat myself.Mark Twain

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“There are four boxes to be used in defense of liberty: soap, ballot, jury, and ammo. Please use in that order.” ‑Ed Howdershelt (Author)

Tags: ,